Changing of the Seasons

Sam here, just popping on to reflect on the coming of fall and cooler weather. Eric's not so happy summer is basically over but at least I'm more comfortable this week now that I'm not constantly sweating. The boys started back to school this week and Eric started his teaching career (2nd year electrical apprentices). I'm gearing up for my first official PTO meeting as the new Treasurer. We culled both the herd and the flock last week to put a good chunk of money down on our massive FSA loan payment and to relieve some of the pressure on our modest hay crop. Jackets and boots are cluttering up our entryways and dirt is everywhere. It normally would be mud, but it's been unusually dry recently. Our "baby creek" hasn't run all summer. Oh, and Eric caught up to me and turned 40 this week... let's just say we're both not quite spring chickens anymore but I think we're still going pretty good.

The changing of the seasons always makes me think about things, cycles, renewal, death, life. Even moreso since Annika passed over 8 months ago now. We're still getting used to "normal" life, not lugging a giant bag, wheelchair, blankets and coolers around, timing everything, always checking the clock. It's still weird just throwing the kids in the van and going. Or just letting them play in the yard while we get things done, no big tent and blankets or running in to check on things every ten minutes. The first day of school was a blur but the sunset sky was a beautiful rainbow and it reminded me of Annika. Even the weather was her kind of weather, sunshine but cool with a breeze. It was like she was saying "It's ok, I'm still here." And she is. I think about her every day. I make an effort to point out Annika's favorite things as they come across our lives. I talk to her in our quiet moments. She'll always be with me, I know that, but it still hurts even when it doesn't look like it. We're so blessed to have the people we have around us though, our family and friends have been such an amazing support even as they themselves grieve.

Oh, and still no new barn at our house. Apparently we should have left one wall standing 15 years ago when we helped it fall the rest of the way down... at least I'm really good at phone calls and paperwork. Thanks Annika!